I was there. I saw it happen, a lot. YMMV 
Probably not so much in the first month or so, but after we got to the point where the first, smaller round of newbies had settled in, and started trying to helpdesk too. While still communicating as if they were on Titter, solving every minor disagreement by getting out their flamethrowers.
But it’s all a matter of perspective. I’ve been using the fediverse on and off since about 2012, when Identi.ca was still running StatusNet. Anyone who’s only been in the fediverse since Mastodon came into existence is a newbie to me, not a “veteran” 
I think you’re confusing 2 quite different things here. 1) Whether or not being calmly asked to do something is really “scolding” which is the point, and 2) the particular example I used, which you seem to have got a bit hung up on.
FWIW I agree that the CW obsession is mostly silly. I hardly ever CW anything. If people don’t like that, they can feel free not to follow my account, etc. But if someone politely asks me to CW a particular kind of thing, whether or not I decide to comply, I’m not going to have a whinge about someone “scolding” me. That also seems quite silly. The pattern here seems to be a lot of people being silly, making mountains out of molehills on all sides.
I’m aware of these (highly US-centric) opinions. I’m not convinced they’re always made in good faith, and I think there are far more productive conversations to be had about how to show solidarity across racial lines in online networks. That’s also just an opinion.
That’s a real shame. But this is the internet. This stuff is standard, because humans. They haven’t encountered it in BS yet, but they will. Difference is, because of dumb luck it didn’t happen to be their initial experience, so they’ll rationalise it away instead of blaming it on BS or the ATmosphere. The same way those who had happy initial fediverse experiences (or make decisions on what to use based on the tech itself) rationalise away the bad behaviour there when we come across it.
People are mostly not rational or consistent - I’m including myself, of course (I studied a bit of pysch at uni up to 2nd year, so I know a bit about this). Once BS starts to enshittify (and it will, just like Titter with its “open API” before it), many of those who vow and declare they’ll never use the fediverse again will be back. Either rationalising changing their minds, or rewriting history so they never said they wouldn’t. Humans gon’ human