I guess there are a number of consent issues here:
- does the poster want their reply to be searchable on the internet, in a forum
- are they running a privacy-conscious AP server? Where they might otherwise reasonably expect their replies to not be searchable on the internet
- are private or followers-only posts federated
- the deletion issue: which you’ve tested above!
I’ll dive into it later on the Discourse Discourse. Low on spoons to make another account right at this minute lol…
Definitely worth exploring those issues and trying to fix where possible, so we can continue to enjoy this delicious AP federation situation 